After graduation (the one year mark)
All I can relate this to is a giant, messed up puzzle. All throughout your early life, you are given one puzzle in which the pieces all fit together so nicely. And you think that’s how it works.
I completed my school-years puzzle with excellence; worked part time, got good grades, made friends, partied enough to enjoy my youth but not fuck up my braincells, and graduated with my head held high with optimism toward the future.
Then our “divine maker” or “fate” or “random fuckery” set my second puzzle in front of my which I eagerly opened and was totally blindsided by what I found.
“what IS this?”
“do these pieces even belong here?!”
“I wanted to make the Eiffel tower, why is this looking like puppies in a basket?!”
“I can’t even find the edges to this thing.”
Best thing about not being in school anymore; you finally get to make your own decisions, deadlines, and goals. Worst thing? THE EXACT SAME THING.
I’m still looking at someone else’s directions in trying to solve my own puzzle. This is not the best strategy to follow anymore is what i am realizing, It’s scary to not look at the back of the box, as copying the image shown is so much safer, quicker, and less of a pain. But who the hell wants to make a picture of some stupid flower covered meadow anyways?